Category Archive for 'DVD Review'

Im Fucked

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

Well even though the title is Im fucked, this review wont fuck  it up more.  Instead it actually gets a rousing and arousing recommendation.  My only problem was…you have this many sluts…and yeah these chicks are major sluts big-time, and this many scenes..they could have saved some money and made a better movie by just having all these babes together playing with each other and licking each other out while getting fucked and sucking cock and it would have been a freaking epically splooge-worthy orgy movie.  But while Im fucked did not reach that porn pinnacle of perversity it was incredibly hot with action that rolls from one scene to another leaving you to shoot your load each time.

I’ve said it before and I’m sure I will end up saying it a hundred zillion more times…the key to super hot porn is super slutty chicks who dig showing the camera what they can do and Im fucked delivers a six pack of this sure-fire satiating formula of fuck fun with six babes who are pros at handling a meaty fuckstick…whether in their mouth, pussy, ass, hand or wherever they can stuff it and play with it.  You may have a hard time getting to number six though since scene five does push the limits of the previous four scenes with a hot MMFF foursome that is guaranteed to make you cum each time you watch it.  Im fucked has the kind of sluts that porn needs a lot more of and gets a well deserved four out of five cocks-up.

Blow Me 13

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

As readers of this blog should know by now, I’m a true Milf lover and can’t get enough of those insatiable older appetites for sex, and I totally dig their undeniably passionate methods of getting it on.  Real milf’s love cock in every single hole, but that doesn’t mean they don’t sometimes have a preference, and the milf sluts in Blow Me 13 are intoxicated by the sensation and flavor of cock pumping between their sweet lips (and I mean their sultry kissable mouths, though their other lips are also incredibly inviting) and they show their passion by sucking down on these big juicy cocks with obvious enjoyment.

Now Blow Me 13 is a rare find; cos even though there’s no truly hardcore sex, the blowjob scenes are exceptional and VERY plentiful and will totally make your cock rock hard and in need of a warm wet spot to slide it in.  We get treated to 18, yep that’s right EIGHTEEN, scenes of frenzied face fucking the likes of which I haven’t seen in quite some time.  Over and over again these milf babes swallow every single inch of the meatsticks thrust in front of their open hungry mouths and work those cocks to volcanic cum explosions…some of them swallowing, some taking the fruits of their labor squirted all over their faces and bodies…whichever way they took it my cock was straining for some of that action and pulsing for sweet release.  Like I said, Blow Me 13 is for those of us who thoroughly enjoy watching a hot hungry milf mouth work a decent cock with eager tongue and lips to sweet satisfaction, and even though there’s no real hardcore action beyond the oral pleasure, this movie stands tall (just like your cock will) by providing so many dirty milf cock-sluts to sate your appetite that you’re guaranteed to shoot at least one load while you watch.  This movie made me shoot three solid loads (I just wish I could’ve sprayed them all over these pretty milf sluts faces)  and so Blow Me 13 gets four super-soaked cocks-up.

Beverly Hills Milf Sluts

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

Over at MILFVixen.com they are wrapping up Milf month (august) so named because Milfs are like that last month of summer in that you can often have the most fun in august but you also know that the fun times are winding down as time ticks it’s inexorable way away…and because a true milf is a truly august personage. Sooo let’s look at one of the hotter milfmovies out there for our enjoyment and sexual satisfaction…speaking of satisfaction I think it’s safe to say that even though he was a young celebrity back in the 60s; Mick Jagger never experienced milf-sex back then or he would have been able to get some satisfaction. Beverly Hills Milf Sluts is a movie that shows us just what is so damn hot about these more experienced sluts and it’s sure as hell better viewing time than the new (or the old) Beverly Hills 90210.

boxcover-4397-12405010.jpg

Now as anyone who has been reading my blogs knows I’m not a big fan of wasted slut talent. I generally figure if a slut is able to enjoy one cock then that same slut is also able to enjoy more than one cock even more. Simple slut-math. So generally I dont much care for one -on-one sex scenes where holes get wasted. Beverly Hills Milf Sluts is an exception to this rule…like the milfs that are in this movie must have auditioned or the producers just lucked out and managed to come up with some of the sluttiest chicks out there. Four scenes to enjoy…each one hot enough to make you blow your load as these chicks go down, and get down eager to show off their skills and appreciation for well hung guys and even though you can tell that these are the type of babes who fuck multiple times a day…you can still tell that they crave cock action the way a man lost in the Sahara would crave water. Put simply and paraphrasing ‘Field Of Dreams’…if you watch it…you will cum. Four milf-shooting cocks-up for Beverly Hills Milf Sluts.

Anal Xplosion

Friday, August 29th, 2008

Anal Xplosion is one of those movies that you can watch over and over and over with load blowing, splooge shooting enjoyment…talk about decadent divas doing dirty deeds. Chicks who do anal are known as the pure sluts of porn and these are some of the purest of the pure.  Whether it’s threesomes comprised of two chicks and a dude or two dudes banging a chick or even just some guy slut slamming away deeply in all her holes these babes love action and love being filled every way that they can get it

The movie starts off with sizzling heat from the get-go as a fiery red headed slut bombshell devours  some big black cock right in the middle of her kitchen…now that’s what I want for dinner.  Then this redhead trades in the black skin for some black hair as she and a raven haired temptress of desire enjoy exploring each other in every way they can until pleasantly interrupted by a well hung stud that fucks them silly and lets them use his cock as a sex toy. On and on it goes…6 scenes (over two hours of hardcore, every whole filled fucking)…with even more threesomes, some crazily deep and intense toy play and all out sluttiness throughout the movie Anal Xplosion is a fuck flick I highly recommend and gets a very solid four out of five cocks-up.

Double D Dolls

Thursday, August 28th, 2008

So we grow up hearing that dolls are for girls to play with not guys…then a movie like Double D Dolls comes along and shows us that some dolls are actually meant for both guys and gals to enjoy (even if we enjoy them a bit differently).  Doll is generally an older term not much used anymore and when it does it has an almost ostentatious feel as though it is describing a beauty that is both timless and fragile.  Now I wouldn’t call any of the chicks in Double D Dolls fragile (more like female G.I. Joes with kung-fu jack-off grips) but the sexuality they bring to this movie is certainly timeless cos this is one of those shows that 40 years from now your grandchildren would be jacking off to as young adults just as heartily as you will be watching it nowadays.

These babes show off their enhanced assets and skill with both cock and pussy indoors and outdoors and are obviously totally into being filmed doing the nasty which just brings all the slutty qualities in these totally slutty babes even more in the open.  Something for all of us to enjoy in Double D Dolls and as I said it’s a timeless enjoyment that will last as good standard jackoff material for decades to come.  Three rock solid hard cocks-up for Double D Dolls.

Boning The Big Babes

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

Well the title, Boning The Big Babes is completely appropriate in that a boning is definitely needed cos these chicks remind me of junkyard dogs in need of a bone but where they got the word babes from I don’t know. I guess maybe they dig big ugly chicks but I at least prefer my BBWs to have at least one B stand for beautiful.  There are enough hot stacked and heavy milfs out there that there is no excuse for a movie like this to be made especially when not only are there no physically attractive attributes beyond big tits…but they don’t even have porn’s needed slut factor for hotness.

boxcover-4279-12116097.jpg

Thankfully the movie is not unendurably long and if you just concentrate on the massive globe-like tits and try to super-impose different faces/rest of bodies on these women you can make it through and maybe feel something similar to arousal when you are done.  A far better idea though would be to go through our bbw archives and pick a better movie…try the chunky series…chunky pizza party, chunky cheerleaders etc.  Only because these women have probably been insulted enough I will give Boning The Big Babes one patronizing cock-up.

Sex Acts

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008

A stacked actress to make a stacked deck…just like with any ‘best of’ compilation from anything that is successful Sex Acts was a sure winner for primo jackoff material before it ever hit the shelves.  Like picture a best of Dr. J and Michael Jordan basketball scenes dvd…instant seller that won’t disappoint any B-Ball fan out there.  When it comes to the big names of porn with literally hundreds of movie credits to their names in some cases and you take some of their hot scenes together…same deal for sex fans.  An instant hit.  Teri Weigel a former porn superstar….one of the first women to be known as a squirter in porn…now a milf superstar as well; kudos to you.

Sex Acts doesn’t waste too much time with moronic dialogue and each scene quickly segues into living up to the title with sex acts.  Now in many movies I would just say ‘oh typical vanilla bs’…not so for this one.  Teri has, had and always will have one of those slutty nature that transcends the moment and just comes through the screen at you.  She shows that indoors, outdoors, guys, other chicks, she has the magic touch to make them and herself cum over and over and if you enjoy hot sluttiness (and why watch porn if you don’t?) then it’s sure to make you cum too.  Four sploogetastically hard cocks-up for Sex Acts.

Girls Home Alone 16

Monday, August 25th, 2008

How the hell did this series ‘Girls Home Alone’ ever make it to 16?…I thought that the movies Im reviewing were supposed to all be hardcore but then along comes a movie like this that makes me go huh…is this from the playboy channel ? I mean okay, girls being at home and horny and masturbating is cool in most porn cos then some dude or dudes is going to come along and hop in the action and give her the fucking she was craving while shooting their loads all in/on her…very formula but proven to be very hot…but noooo not for Girls Home Alone 16 where we get to see them masturbate…ohhhh ahhhh wow…yawn.

Like seriously Im not being harsh on this movie…as much as any guy or any hot (hot meaning bisexual) chick I dig a movie where some super smoking hot babe is busying herself playing with her tits and giving her own salute to her charter of the four finger club preperatory (key word there preperatory) to getting totally jammed by some guy so that there is an intense sex interplay where everyone including me, the viewer, gets off.  The best you get in this Girls Home Alone movie is a bit of girl on girl action but even that seems more langurous and lazy rather than lusty.  Unless the point to the series is that women are lazy when left alone it misses the shot with me and only gets one lazy cock-up.

Flirts 3

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008

Ahhhh the women of porn give something back to the industry that made them the stars that they are today…what industry is that you ask ?  The movie industry ?  Yeah right buddy.  The stripping industry ?  Noooo.  The sex industry in general ?  Geeze noooo open your damn eyes.  The Plastic Cosmetic Industry.  Supposedly these chicks are supposed to be telling us their special recipe to being the slut-starlets that they are and then I guess any chick can be a porn star if you follow the steps that these chicks use…Which I guess might work if these chicks actually had any special secrets.

So basically the storyline is an excuse for a storyline and someone’s way of rationalizing it to have some unique flavor when it actually is very generic.  While hot and fuckable in every way the sluts in Flirts 3 don’t have any extra special fucking tricks or sexual techniques that I haven’t seen or experienced already and that I’m sure most women have already read about in a hundred different issues of Cosmopolitan.  What they did all have in common that made them stand out were these massive tit constructions that stood out to unrealistic proportions on their own…like they went for the boob job and then upgraded by saying ’super-size me’.  While there was nothing that set this movie apart from so many others I must give it credit in that the sex itself was hot and definitely something you can jack off too…so three jackable cocks-up for Flirts 3.

Strict Ass White Girl

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

So hey…do you and the missus know any lesbian chicks that you think would act like less of a dyke if she knew how to properly appreciate cock ?  Wanna see something with her that will teach her that she can still have her pie but also get something to poke it with too ?  Then check out Strict Ass White Girl; a movie with some hot chick on chick action with babes who obviously love doing it with other babes, ass, pussy mouth, whatever…they do it all and obviously enjoy it yet also happily hop on the cock-slut train as soon as some cock enters the picture.

The formula for Strict Ass White Girl seems to be equal fun for everyone and in every way that they can put into this single movie.  Some hot chick on chick lesbo femdom action with spanking, bondage, riding crop action, forced orgasms, hot slut on slut kissing action….these chicks know how to pleasure each other and themselves and its like you can feel the sexual energy from them through the screen. Then the dynamic changes as some black stallion dude comes in and they all get to enjoying his cock and showing off their cock skills to each other as they work themselves to successions of squirting orgasms while all the while keeping the hot lesbian femdom routine happening between themselves.  A very rare yet well deserved five cocks-up for Strict Ass White Girl

Latex Soccer Moms

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

Oh, Mama mia…Mama mia come and blow…Milf dudes…as long as she isnt washed up and wrinkly there isnt much hotter a category cos you KNOW that these babes know what they are doing and they are at that early 30’s age where they crave cock like the Trix Rabbit craves Trix Cereal and “Latex Soccer Moms” is definitely an example of this.

Five super hot scenes of sex crazed mamas getting their needs as well as their holes filled; younger dudes, older dudes, these chicks dont fucking care man…they just gotta have the cock.

The movie explodes at the end just like I did when you get to double your pleasure as two hot blonde milfs go ballistic man. Cum spraying from them as they greedily go down on and ride this dude and you can see after the scene that they STILL want more. Send them to me.Chicks as genuinely slutty as this are a fucking masterpiece and make me believe in a god. A very solid five cocks up for Latex Soccer Moms.

Mistress of the Whip

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Ooookayyyy the chicks in this movie have seen wayyy too many melodramatic 1950s cold war russian interrogator movies…..”I am going to use you and turn you into my slave and then throw you away like I throw everyone away”  in a fake Natasha from Bullwinkle accent…not to mention obviously she has the russian idea of commerce where you take something, make it have value to you…then throw it away thinking that this is a good idea…the only commie may be a dead commie but the only dumb commie is any commie.  If you dig the whole severe femdom fetish trip though then I’m sure that this movie won’t disappoint.  Also if you are just bored of most vanilla porn and want something with a twist in it that will also you laughing at the melodramatic extreme sex fetishes in it then you may as well check out Mistress of The Whip.

I personally would have a hard time not laughing if I were the actor in any of the scenes in this movie…though if any of these women are authentic in being like the sadistic femdom fatales that they play to be the price for laughter would likely be quite severe.  For a sex movie though my big complaint is where the hell was the sex ?   I mean ok I get that some people have some pretty kinky fetishes and spanking and whippings are very common amongst these fetishes.  But for those of us who are watching it for kicks and also wanting to see some cock-banging-pussy action…where is it ?  Cmon ladies…even Natasha fucked Bullwinkle and tried to do it with Rocky the Squirrel but he was afraid that he would lose his nuts…So yeah the whippings and verbal humiliation is there as advertised and if it’s your bag you are going to have a lot of content to jack off too; but if you want some actual sex as well try one of our other femdom dvds.  3 Novelty cocks-up for Mistress of The Whip